Being True Self Takes Guts: 5 Things We Can Learn . . .
. . . from the “Joy-Ann Reids” on center stage
Even without cable TV, I knew about Joy-Ann Reid, an award-winning journalist, talk-show host, news personality, and author.
MSNBC canceled Reid’s five-years-running, 25%-rated (as of February 20, 2025), hourlong newscast, The ReidOut, two weeks ago as part of a major network programming overhaul.
Reactions to the cancellation were loud and mixed. Fans—#reiders—sang their outrage and unwavering allegiance. Critics shouted with glee. Others carried on their day without care.
I paused to ponder what role, if any, true self played in Reid’s exit.
Only she knows for sure, but it seems that show-host Reid consistently expressed her genuine self. Black, female, liberal, southern, outspoken, no-nonsense, controversially blunt, critical of conservative politics, champion for better race relations in America. And charitable, “turning her show into a PhD program for Black journalists, scholars, and experts looking to make the jump to TV,” according to The Nation’s Elie Mystal. Variety’s Daniel D’Addario called hers a “self-styled voice” though he did resurrect homophobic comments Reid allegedly made in 2018. Was being herself both Reid’s golden ticket into MSNBC and her pink slip out? Only MSNBC knows for sure.

What we can conclude for sure is that while finding, learning, and living true self offers big, fat, personally fulfilling rewards (we’ll talk about these in later postings), doing it takes guts—enough to:
Look inside. It can be scary to go deep into your inner closet to look for you. Genuine you. Sometimes, she’s buried under crusty battle scars, coping mechanisms, a toxic remark or two, meaningless traditions, and other tiny terrors. Ask Gabriel Union. The smart, successful, beautiful actress, wife, and mother turned to therapy* in her mid-forties, risking judgmental voices but uncovering “daddy issues”, “ancestral trauma bonds”, and childhood “soul wounds” that fed her lingering low self-esteem. By doing so, she took away the power they held over her and freed her “from the constant need to be validated by a man, a job, an opportunity, a cover, whatever . . . I’m finally, at 50, like, Oh, yeah.”
Find and replace. Root out often cherished or well-meaning yet erroneous or limiting ideals and beliefs that don’t aid you and replace them with those that do. For example, you might exchange “victim” for “victor”. “Can’t” to “why not?”. “Restricted” to “free”. Highly awarded musical artist Gabriella Wilson, better known as H.E.R., rejected the idea of being pigeonholed to a particular box but rather replaced it with being “all” or “any”. Not Black nor Filipino, but both. Not pop or country or [fill in the blank], but genre-less authenticity. Not nothing, but everything. H.E.R. (Having Everything Revealed), she says, “. . . isn’t a persona; it’s not something that I think I have to turn on. It’s me: my true self.”
See that she is good. For the person you feel and know to be your true self in the now (she evolves, blooms and repeats), offer her an embrace. Tell her that all of her—strengths, weaknesses, perfections, imperfections—is good and more than enough. From within her unflinchingly honest, vulnerable, and empathetic self-discovery journey, Black, queer, and bald Sonya Renee Taylor said it this way: “radical self-love is your sense of inherent divinity of enoughness. It can’t be externally gained. It can’t be externally magnified.”
Choose you over everything else. This doesn’t mean dropping the ball on who or what’s important to you. It means grounding yourself spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially to engage life with clarity and compassion. Like putting an oxygen mask on yourself first when flying so that you have the ability to assist others. That’s what Naomi Osaka did. When she withdrew from the 2021 French Open to take time off from tennis and put her mental health first, she defied social expectations, withstood alienation from people and groups who didn’t understand her choice, and prioritized herself.
Feel the fear and go forward anyway. Society often imposes established habits, premises, expectations, and norms that may conflict with your true self, challenging your next step. Deshauna Barber decided to feel the discomfort and do her. Her mother always pushed her to wear her natural hair. The dark-skinned beauty never did, fearing that it would crush her chances of winning the Miss USA pageant, which she won in 2016. Almost a year after her mother died and after facing harsh criticism, racism, and colorism during her reign, Deshauna surprised everyone when she took her final walk as Miss USA in 2017 wearing her natural hair, honoring her mother.
I curtsy to these self-care acts of bravery and the bold queens who took them. We are equally so and have what it takes to make the decision, do the work, and walk in our true selves each day.
Our True Self practice this week:
Identify and de-power what scares you. Write down the top five fears you feel about living your true self, along with space to reflect on them. For each fear, answer two questions: "What is the worst that could happen?" and "What are empowering statements or actions I can lift up instead?"
Repeat this week’s daily hymn: “I rise above my own fears, knowing that I have everything I need to shine as me."
Sit in this divine meditation from Dora Kamau to exhale fear and inhale you.
Share how your week went in the Society.
Journey on,
Netta Fei
*If you're looking for a therapist, start here.
Yes it does. Thanks for the Free To Be You meditation.
My pleasure. As you know well, meditation is travel armor on the self-discovery journey.